Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Funeral Clothes

You tell me. Where else am I going to print this other than an anonymous blog? The church newsletter?

It’s clear that some young women have not attended many funerals. They know they’re supposed to wear black, but all they have are the little party dresses that show a lot of leg and cleavage.

It must be especially difficult when they get to the cemetery. Walking on the ground in the required high heels is difficult. And if the wind kicks up, it’s quite a struggle to keep that light fabric in place. They’re probably not comforted by the eloquent words I’m uttering over the dead.

You understand, I’m not complaining. It certainly makes the day less of a drag.

But it’s not written in stone that one must wear black at a funeral. Most of us just try to wear something nice to show respect. In my part of the world, it’s not uncommon for the men to wear their clean pair of jeans, along with polished boots, a western shirt, and a black hat—often the deceased is dressed the same way.

Some women wear nice dresses and others wear dress jeans—and they don’t have to be black. At one funeral, all the women wore red dresses because the deceased loved that color.

When I die, I won’t care what they wear to the funeral. Hey, I’ll be glad someone actually shows up.


  1. At least you have the honesty to admit that the clothes are ... well ... distracting.

  2. I like distracting clothes. Well, on men anyway. I would like my memorial to be colorful. Everyone has to wear a hawaiian shirt. And don't spend money on a casket, spend it on alcohol.

    Everyone that knows me, knows this. I also plan on shake and bake. So they can put my urn at the front right next to a Dust Buster cuz I know my drunk friends will prolly spill over the urn.
    Not that I'll really care. I'll be gone.

    There's a lot of stuff that young girls aren't taught these days. It's a shame.

  3. Sistermoon, you are a hoot and a half!

  4. Reminds me of the time I was in line at a Christian bookstore behind a girl who was wearing those sweats with words on the butt, like "hottie" etc. I have no idea what the words were, but wondered if she even remembered she was wearing them that day.

  5. I confess to having got severe giggles (and passing them to my mother) at my great grandmother's funeral. Not due to anything that anyone was wearing, but due to the priest, who had a natural broad ocker-Aussie accent but was attempting very badly to put on an upper class English one when he said the words Holy Spirit.
    I was informed by someone some while after that they had thought I was crying, so at least I managed to cover up well. Possibly the only good job of acting I've ever done!

  6. I think the most embarrassing thing I did at a funeral was to get the name of the deceased wrong. I said many touching and wonderful things about Sally. Only her name was Nellie.

  7. Oh no! That's funny, but I guess the family didn't think so. It must be very difficult to say a eulogy for someone you don't know.

  8. Just finished reading through your blog from the start. Really like it despite me being one of those atheists from over at Unreasonable Faith. I wasn't raised in any religion or church so this kind of look inside is really interesting (I'm also in the process of reading though pornstar Tyler Knight's interesting blog). You seem like an intelligent and reasonable person (why I clicked through from UF) and your commitment to helping people and willingness to admit to crisis' of faith make you really likable to me.

    Keep up the good work.

  9. Hey, Joe B. Thanks for checking out the blog. I feel an inappropriate sense of pride that I'm on the same level of interest as a porn star.

    Seriously, thanks for the encouragement


  10. Clergy Guy = Porn Star

    That is some good stuff right there.

    @ Joe B, I'm an atheist as well, and I've found CG to be so wonderfully atypical that the conversations are pleasant! He knows how to believe what he believes with out telling others they need to believe the same.

    Not bad for a Jesus Freak.

  11. Hey, sistermoon, easy on CG there, you know how easily p*rn stars blush! (Seriously, tho, I love your blog. You and CG get along so well because neither of you is dogmatic or insecure in your belief system.)

    CG--You're speaking for a lot of people. You sure get a lot of hits for an undercover blog. The need is out there, and you're meeting it. Keep it up. Jaguar

  12. ooohhh...now I'm blushing...does this mean I'm a porn star?

    Better get a bigger lens...need something big to support all this fabulousness...

  13. I think I'm glad I've chosen not to reveal my identity.

  14. Now I'm red-faced too, but I swear I'm not blushing, it's from laughing so hard at the previous five exchanges. Best laugh I've had all week. And sistermoon, I'm not even going to touch that last comment, don't want to sully this highbrow symposium. I do that on my own website. (I won't link to it here, but I'm the only "Pancho Fontaine" in the Google search engine, if you like R-rated satire.)