Friday, April 30, 2010

Damn Preachers

The preacher told her that she needed to divorce her present husband so she could go back to her first husband. It was unknown whether he had remarried. She asked what should be done about her seven-year-old son that she and her present husband had. How would it affect him for his home to be broken up?

“He'll thank you for doing the right thing,” he declared with wild eyes.

This moron came after I served at the same church. He had great talent in chasing people out of an already troubled church. He yelled, condemned, even called names.

I was invited back for a special program. When we had a moment, I asked him how things were going. His eyes widened and watered and with a childish whine said he thought that things were going very well.

I wanted to say, “Look pal, when you beat up on the people, you don't get to turn around and act like one of the wounded.”

The thing was, he probably was wounded as a child. But I'm not willing to be warm and fuzzy to a guy who kills the spirits of others. First, leave the rest of my people alone, then maybe I'll offer some kindness.

I knew another loser who could actually grow a church in his own sick way. We both served churches in a college town.

It was homecoming weekend. Moms, dads, college children, grandparents, and babies were all there on Sunday morning, dressed up, smiling, proud to show their families and see old friends.
The preacher stands and preaches about the evils of homosexuality.


This same guy was asked to speak as a guest at large church where old guard leadership wanted to make it clear that divorce was ALWAYS wrong. He served as sort of a verbal hit man and he was good at it. Several women ran out of the church crying. It’s a couple of decades later, but I still want to deck the guy, although he’s probably in a nursing home by now.

This same guy once criticized me to one of his former members who decided she liked my church better. Who could blame her?

“He doesn’t believe in baptism,” he protested as if I had just proclaimed that Hitler was a saint. It’s true that I didn’t believe like did—that people will go to hell if they don't get the job done in just the right way with just the right words uttered. However, I still offer baptism as a sacrament from God.

“Go back and ask that assho--, I mean that preacher how many he’s baptized,” I said, “then come back and ask me and we’ll compare numbers.”

Like I said, guys like these usually suffered tremendous wounds as children. But it's hard for me to care. I've known many people who used their wounds as motivation to help others, not hurt them under the protective mantle of religion.

So I kind of despise them for what they've done in contributing to humankind's woundedness. We're the guys who are supposed to make people better, not worse. I've spent a great deal of energy trying to undo their work.

What really mystifies me is how people can lump guys like these two clowns with the rest of the ministers who work quietly, compassionately, and perhaps effectively (I'm humbly including in the latter category).

The cruel dictator preachers often have growing churches, at least for a while before they self destruct. Are people really sheep, as Jesus describes? Don't they have any ability to discern when evil is deceptive?

I'll have more to say later.


  1. Dynamite, pure dynamite. Harsh, but absolutely true and honest. And not quite as harsh as the "sweet and gentle" carpenter who said to the wounded fascist religious regime of his day: "You generation of vipers! Who will save you from the fires of hell?!"

    So why do all the pictures of this guy make him look like some nice Caucasian valium addict shuffling out of a gay bar?

    Remember this?: "God put a few of us here to see to it that the meek DO INHERIT the earth." Keep on slugging, CG. These Beelzabusers are all going down. --JagWar

  2. Hey JW, Thanks for cheering me on.

    I never knew a construction guy who wasn't tough as nails.

  3. I think they get lumped together for the same reason the jerks act that way. It's all they've ever known.

  4. Didn't comment earlier because the first story made me too angry to say anything. It shocks and saddens me how people will just accept the word of someone in a position of authority without question. I wouldn't want that sort of carte blanche, and it just enables these sort of assholes.

  5. Mike, I guess that's true.

    Sanityman, just to finish the story, the woman called me after she talked to him and I told her to her great relief that he was full of crap.

  6. Responding to your closing paragraph --

    Adulthood brings the reality that we are expected to not only make decisions for ourselves, but also in many cases to make decisions for others, such as our children or employees. I think a lot of people gravitate toward dictator preachers because it gives the familiar and longed-for illusion of being back home with someone (apparently) bigger, stronger, louder and angrier telling them what to do.

    Just a hypothesis...

  7. Volly, sounds pretty valid to me.