I'm sitting in my very quiet office. Nothing's popping at the moment. The secretary is gone for the day. The phone is silent. There are no emergencies or crises. No one's in the hospital. No walk ins so far who want just a minute of my time to discuss how they recently remembered that they were sexually molested as a child.
And no one's complaining.
My sermon came easily this week and I'm ready early for Sunday. I could work ahead and get future lessons written up. I could clean and organize my office. I could go out and pay a visit to someone. I could take a rare moment to read, meditate, and pray.
Maybe I could go home? If I did there'd be stuff there that I don't want to do either (mow the yard, clean the garage, etc). I'd sit there like I'm sitting here waiting for the next thing to happen that will launch me into action.
Maybe I'm tired. But I’m not sleepy. There's just nothing inside.
There'd be something if someone needed me. I'd be up and focused and useful. It's a helluva thing to hope for someone to have a crisis so I'd know what to do with myself.
I remember an occasion back when I was sick and exhausted. I had an appointment to go to the prison to preach. I wondered how I was going to form any coherent thoughts to share with the inmates. However, when I stood up to face them, the energy came to me and so did the words.
As soon as I was done the exhaustion came back.
The memory has an unreal quality to it.
What do people do when they’re off? I think some go play but how do you do that? What's the point of it anyway?
Wait, someone just came in....