Thursday, July 22, 2010

Waiting

I'm sitting in my very quiet office. Nothing's popping at the moment. The secretary is gone for the day. The phone is silent. There are no emergencies or crises. No one's in the hospital. No walk ins so far who want just a minute of my time to discuss how they recently remembered that they were sexually molested as a child.

And no one's complaining.

My sermon came easily this week and I'm ready early for Sunday. I could work ahead and get future lessons written up. I could clean and organize my office. I could go out and pay a visit to someone. I could take a rare moment to read, meditate, and pray.

Nah.

Maybe I could go home? If I did there'd be stuff there that I don't want to do either (mow the yard, clean the garage, etc). I'd sit there like I'm sitting here waiting for the next thing to happen that will launch me into action.

Maybe I'm tired. But I’m not sleepy. There's just nothing inside.

There'd be something if someone needed me. I'd be up and focused and useful. It's a helluva thing to hope for someone to have a crisis so I'd know what to do with myself.

I remember an occasion back when I was sick and exhausted.  I had an appointment to go to the prison to preach.  I wondered how I was going to form any coherent thoughts to share with the inmates. However, when I stood up to face them, the energy came to me and so did the words.

As soon as I was done the exhaustion came back.

The memory has an unreal quality to it. 

What do people do when they’re off? I think some go play but how do you do that? What's the point of it anyway?

Wait, someone just came in....

4 comments:

  1. I always say that if I won the lottery and didn't have to work I would never be bored. I have too many hobbies as it is and go through phases with each one. The main thing I do in my off time these days is play video games. I've got a stack of books I've been neglecting for a while, but the video games keep me entertained so I can't complain.

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  2. Mike, you and my son could be soul mates.

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  3. I'm with Mike...I'd never be bored.

    I have these ideas in my head of things I'd like to do if a won a ridiculous amount of money...

    I have this great idea for child care for second shift single mothers. There's lots of day care (at stupid prices) but none for night. There are single mom waitresses, nurses, nurses aides, call center operators, strippers...etc. Women that make hardly any money at all and are single moms.

    I also would love to build a family FRIENDLY homeless shelter. So they can have something bigger than just a room. It would teach them skills, provide food and good clothes for looking for a job....that'd keep me busy...

    I also would LOVE to be a foster mom!!

    And, like Mike, I have a million books to read. Plus, I like being a troll on the interwebs...

    Whoa...I guess this blog isn't about me....but I think I'm going to blog about it...thanks!

    You know, sometimes, you just need down time. When you aren't doing anything, accomplishing anything...just being yourself.

    Which, BTW, yourself is quite wonderful. And I may not be standing in your office or calling on the phone, but I need you. I think Mike and Jag would agree...

    This is sistermoon, BTW. My LiveJournal wouldn't id me. I don't know why.

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  4. Sistermoon, aww, what a nice thing to say. Hey, maybe you could set up a home for crazy, tired old cynical, but clever clergyguys.

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