Okay, I feel better.
I went to bed and the next morning I felt clearer.
What I’ve been doing with my church hasn’t been working. I’ve been trying to manage this church by fostering cooperation between me and the various power groups. I’ve been frustrated because they’ve been managing me more than I’ve managed them. I find myself spending hours stuck in my office listening to complaints, and fending off manipulation. By the end of the day, I just want to hide under the desk. Which isn’t me.
I’ve lost sight of the quiet crowds out there who would appreciate someone who is interested in them. Many in those crowds are pretty desperate. I need to pay attention to them, not the ones who wish to play power games.
Regarding the power players, I’ve decided that they can win by default because I’m not playing anymore. I’m not going to be available for complaints about the decor, the spots on the commode, and the paper cups left in the classroom. I’m not refereeing any more arguments, and I’m not engaging in any of my own.
I like cheering up sad people. I like helping people work out their problems. I like tending the sick. I like being a pastor. I’m pretty good at it and it still makes me feel good.